[dafnasmith]

... мои внутренности пытаются меня убить.
нужно начинать меньше жратъ хДДД

апд. теперь еще и голова болит. все лучше и лучше *Т

запись создана: 12.04.2016 в 23:09

@темы: долбоеб и это не лечится

Comments

почему??? что случилось????

[dafnasmith]

random;, с самого утра живот побаливает, зараза. причем довольно странно - наверху, где-то под грудной клеткой.
наверное вчера творожок, которым обедала и ужинала, был не совсем свежим, раз кишки все продолжают высказывать свое фи =_=

Буууу. Выпей капель каких-нибудь желудочных или угля штук 200. Все эти пищевые отравления - тема мерзкая. я со своим последним на 10 дней слегла с больничным и потом еще месяц сидела на диете тк ничего есть не могла.
Держись. Не болей

[dafnasmith]

я крепкого чайку очищающего выпил. все равно что 200 таблеток угля только чай хД ох как тебя Q_q
спасибо, постараюсь)

Крутой чай

может, и от головы крутой чай найдется?..(((

[dafnasmith]

random;, лучше гильотину. заодно прерву тот фарс, который называю жизнью

а-а. даже и не думай про гильотину. потому что заявлюсь я, воскрешу тебя к жизни и утащу куда подальше от проблем
а еще лучше утащу от проблем раньше гильотины.

[dafnasmith]

random;, моя главная и обычно единственная проблема - мои мысли. make them stop

дааа... как я борюсь с мыслями, которые хотят меня убить? хм. lemme see

[dafnasmith]

random;, *sob* thanks, hope it can help for this time... sadly nothing of it can come and hug me irl. i closed my eyes - and everything is gone
*saw cullen/quizzy video* how dare you be only there! ... few months and i'll understanding what means "love to hate"

how dare you be only there

у меня такая же боль с джейкобом. только наоборот - какого фига я не с ним.
ну, я хотя бы виртуальный хаг пошлю. не реал лайф, конечно, но хоть что-то.
а вообще я рада, что на английском пишешь. продолжай))

[dafnasmith]

how dare you be only there

it kills me

ну, я хотя бы виртуальный хаг пошлю. не реал лайф, конечно, но хоть что-то.

thnks. ... all my damn life happend in the internet. i want to bit my keyboard on my desk with silent cry. seriously, wtf

а вообще я рада, что на английском пишешь. продолжай))

tell me if find mistakes

tell me if find mistakes

okay, но я маленько grammar nazi, так что не удивляйся

bit

to beat - ударить, to bit?... to bite - укусить

... all my damn life happend in the internet.

mine to. i'd rather have it there, than no life at all.

[dafnasmith]

bit

да, мне переводчик исправил, но исправить здесь я забыла ^^"

i'd rather have it there, than no life at all.

i don't feel that i have life somewhere. and day to day i more and more understand that it's all my mistakes. i try, try and try again do something to fix it... unsuccessfully. all my tries, all my life - unsuccessfully. i don't see exit. never ending circle where i am a chief enemy for myself. the reason for all my failures. wanna beat reflection of myself in mirror, because hate it. blind hatred that can't change anything

i just read it today on tumblr - if you want to self-harm, holding an ice cube in your hands will ease the compulsion. i'll try it myself one day, i have the feeling.
i understand the never-ending circle of hopelessness. i went through it, and i keep going through it each and every day. i hate myself, and the hate seeps through my skin but people do not understand. they only point at me and say i can't take care of myself. my mother, most of all.
it's not about "not being able to take care", it's about "not wanting to take care".
i began "changing" myself when i was 16. i was at the worst back then, i wanted to kill myself for... everything i was. now i'm not the person i was then, but i still need improvement. at least i see joy in writing my pain out in fanfiction - and if i only started doing it half a year ago, it means a whole deal to me.
i do not know how to help you and ease your pain, because i can't do anything with mine. i only can share my own, but that's not helping.
just... don't self harm. please.

[dafnasmith]

i feel lost all my life. think i must born in another time/another planet/both. always hopes that someday it changes... you know - find reason to life, find someone whom made any sense in daily life.
ha-ha. nothing. sometimes i still feel myself as an alien, far-far away from all humanity. funny that this loneliness, that slowly kills myself right now, i have from my dad. ha-ha, gramps. what you said, broken genes? If you was alive you can say this and about me. never thought you can be right, but... I really feel myself broken
self destruct makes me feel better. but my self hurm - alcohol, cigarettes, sport training and nagging. don't think i do for myself something worse.
so do not worry. mirror never suffer. only my self-esteem. although where already worse...

I hope you will be successful everywhere, where i fail

[dafnasmith]

i feel lost all my life. think i must born in another time/another planet/both. always hopes that someday it changes... you know - find reason to life, find someone whom made any sense in daily life.
ha-ha. nothing. sometimes i still feel myself as an alien, far-far away from all humanity. funny that this loneliness, that slowly kills myself right now, i have from my dad. ha-ha, gramps. what you said, broken genes? If you was alive you can say this and about me. never thought you can be right, but... I really feel myself broken
self destruct makes me feel better. but my self hurm - alcohol, cigarettes, sport training and nagging. don't think i do for myself something worse.
so do not worry. mirror never suffer. only my self-esteem. although where already worse...

I hope you will be successful everywhere, where i fail

no we both will be successful, in everything that will come our way.
i don't think that blaming everything on genes is a good thing to help yourself fight for yourself.
if i did that... i might as well drown myself in alcohol, like my father used to, or smoke 3 packs per day, like literally every member or my family from both sides does. but i don't. i defy that shit, bc i know it's harmful, and i know i have a predisposition to all of it, but i middle-finger my way through life to all my shit genes and my shit family. i dunno, helps to cope.
so gods forgive me but even i feel like shit, i'll rise every day and i keep fighting, because never will i ever lose a battle to self-pity.
don't give up, sis. you'll find your strength too. it's not easy, and minds tend to show no exit but there always is one. don't give up.

[dafnasmith]

i don't see reasons to continue. nothing changes. sickly repeating. nothing have any sense.
maybe tomorrow i will think different, or will hide from this thoughts till evening, but now... i am so tired to fight with my mind

thank you for your support. it's more than so moaner can ask

keep fighting.